Freedom With Limitation

By: Virdina Jamaluddin

Freedom = the condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints

Limitation = an act of limiting or restricting (as by regulation)

(Source : vocabulary.com)

So, do children really have freedom? Menurut pendapat penulis pribadi, tidak ada 1 anak pun dilahirkan ke dunia ini dengan kebebasan.  Reason :  as a human we could not choose when we will born, in which country, in which family, we couldn’t even choose our names. Contoh sederhananya bahkan kita selalu pakai pakaian yang dipilihkan, dibelikan oleh orangtua kita (mom mostly) waktu masih kecil, tapi seiring berkembangnya anak-anak, bertambahnya usia kita, orangtua akan bertanya, baju apa yang kamu suka? Mau beli yang mana? Dan sebagainya. That was freedom. Tapi,,,,Sebagai orangtua juga pasti menetapkan sedikit batasan untuk pilih bajunya kan? Contoh anak perempuan mau baju yang setelan seperti anak laki-laki, apa akan tetap dibelikan? So yes, children do have freedom, but not completely free. The adults, mostly the parents, the environment set the certain limits.

Environment is important for children’s development. Not only the surrounding environment, but also family environment (this is even really matters)

Not long ago my Principal gave me something to listen on YT, title was The Danger of a Single Story by  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. There was her quote that I think so so true:

“The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but they are incomplete. They made one story become the only story”. Pelabelan. Tidak banyak tapi tidak sedikit juga orangtua yang membanding-bandingkan kakak beradik misalnya dalam hal studi, dalam hal bergaul, dan lain-lain. Kalau gak punya saudara, anak tunggal misalnya? Dibandingkan dengan anak tetangga atau anak teman – mungkin saja. Contoh yang paling banyak diucapkan; coba tiru kakak/adikmu yang belajar gak perlu disuruh, teman-teman kakak/adikmu anak-anak rajin/pintar semua, dan lain-lain. Actually, even as adult we don’t like to be compared by others, can you imagine that children need to swallow all those judgements from their own parents? Once again, pelabelan. Sooner or later a child will believe and become what they heard they are. When people say a child is this, a child is that, the child will absorb 101% the judgement of who they are set by the environment and pour it into their daily action, and that sooner or later will become their habit. ‘This is me, why they try to make me into someone else? I am a lazy child in their eyes, so no point for me to even try to be better.’ Probably they would think this way. Never label a child, because the moment you label the child, you close communication with him/her.

Everything will be good in its time. So do children. All we adults need to do is to have faith in them. They (even twins) have their own timing to develop. They absorb what they see, hear and they learn from their mistakes. This is the idea of ‘let the child be free without restraint’ that I understand. Discipline must come through liberty, so let them be free for us to observe. If you do good, the result will be like this, but if you do bad the result will be like that. The adults don’t interfere or dictate, just watch carefully while supervising them and giving them consultations.